Stephen Crisp
This Document is on The Quaker Writings Home Page.
Published by the Tract Association of Friends, 1515 Cherry Street, Philadelphia, PA 19102
And upon a time, as I was breaking my mind to a friend of mine upon this subject, he readily told
me, there were men appointed in every place to guide those who were willing to go thither, and it
was their business, and they had nothing else to do. When I heard this I was comforted, and
desired him, if he loved me, to make me aquatinted with one of those men. He told me he would;
which he did. When I came to treat with the man, I let him know of the fervent desire I had to get
to the house of God, of which I had heard such excellent things; and that I understood he was one
appointed to guide any thither, who were willing to go, and to persuade people to go, who were
not willing. He very readily answered, and told me, it was his business to guide nay thither who
were willing to go; and if I would comply with his terms, and follow him, he would lead me
thither. I asked him what his terms were. He said they way was long, and would lead him from
home, and I must bear his charges, and something over, to all of which I agreed.
So we set forward on our journey, early in the morning; but before we had gone one whole day's
journey, I saw my guide sometimes stand still, and look about him, and sometimes he would pull a
little book out of his pocket, and read a little to himself; which made me begin to mistrust that he
knew the way no better than I. However, I said nothing; but went on following him several days
journey after this manner; and the farther we went, the more my guide was at a loss. Sometimes
he went a little on, and then would look about him, and turn another way, and sometimes right
back again for a while, and then turn again. So my suspicions grew very strong, and I began to be
in great anxiety of spirit, but said little to him about it.
But one day, as we were travelling along, we met a man that took notice of my sad countenance
and tired condition. And he spake very kindly to me; "Young man," said he, "whither art thou
bound?" And when I began to tell him something of my travel, he desired me to sit down upon the
grass, in a shady place, and discourse a little about my journey: and so we did, and I told him how
things had gone with me to that very hour. Whilst I was telling him my story, my guide fell asleep;
at which I was not sorry, for thereby I had the more freedom to discourse with the man; and when
I had told him all, he pitied me; and withal, told me, to his certain knowledge, this guide of mine
had never been at the house, neither did he know the way to it, but as he had got some marks of
the way, which he had received, as I or any other may do; and, if I followed him all my days, I
should never be the nearer to it, and should find at last, I had spent my time, money and labour to
no purpose.
This discourse did so astonish me, that I was at my wits end, and did not know what course to
take, The man seeing what an agony I was in, began to comfort me, and told me that the house I
sought was much nearer than I was aware of; and if I would forsake that guide, and follow him he
would soon bring me in sight of the house. "And," quoth he, "I am one that belong to that house,
and have done so several years. And whereas," said he, "thou art to bear his charges, and give him
monet besides, I will assure thee, it is not the manner of the guides that belong to this house of
God, to take money for guiding people thither. I myself have been guide to many a one in my
time, but never took one penny of them for it."
By this time, as you must think within yourselves, how my drooping spirits were comforted; a
new hope sprang up, and a resolution to forsake my wandering guide, and to follow this new one.
Upon which I awaked my guide, and told him my mind, and paid him what I had agreed for, and
advised him never to serve any poor soul as he had done me: for I see, said I, thou knowest not
the way, but as thou hast learned about it in some book. If booklearning would have served my
turn, to find this famous house, I needed not thee, nor anybody else to guide me to it; for there
are very few who have written experimentally of it, but I have read them diligently: but now I
have met a man that I judge has more experience of the way than thou hast, and I am resolved to
go with him,; and if thou wilt honestly confess thy ignorance, and go along with us, come and
welcome; one guide will serve two travellers, as well as the one in the way. But I could not
persuade him; so I left him to take his own way as he pleased.
I now set forward with my new guide pretty cheerful; and he entertained me with a good deal of
discourse by the way. As he went on in pretty smooth path, and without stopping, he told me, in a
short time we should come in sight of the house; which made my travel easier, He also told me
something of the rules and orders of the house, at which I was not at all discouraged; for I
considered God was a God or order, and I doubted not but there were good orders in his house,
to which I was willing to submit. And as we were thus traveling along, he of a sudden spake to
me, saying. "Yonder is the house." At which I was exceeding glad; for now I thought I had not
spent my labour in vain. The nearer we drew to it, the more my joy increased; and when I came in
view of it, I pleased myself extremely with looking at it, and viewing the towers and turrets that
were upon it, and the excellent carvings and paintings, with which it was adorned; and there was
as much art in setting it forth as could be imagined. Oh! thought I, if there be so much glory
without, surely there is more with in, which I shall shortly be a partaker of.
As I was thus contemplating my happiness, and was come within as it were a bow-shot of the
house, we were to go down into a valley; which we did: and in the bottom of the valley, glided
along a small river, and I looked about to see a bridge, but could see none; at which I wondered;
but on we went till we came to the river side; then I asked my guide where the bridge was. Truly,
he told me, there was none, but we must go through it, and so must all that go into that house.
I was a little troubled within myself; but he told me he had been through it; and there was no
danger at all. With that I began to to think within myself, have I taken all these pains, and shall I
give over for so small a matter as this? What would I have gone through, when in my father's
house, to attain to the knowledge of the house of God, and a possession therein. Not water, nor
verily fire would have stopped me then, if I had so fair a prospect of it as I now have.
I told my guide if he pleased to go before, I would follow him: so in he went, and I after him; but
when I came at the middle, there it was so deep that the water went over my head, but I made
shift to keep my feet to the ground, and got well on the other side; and my guide and I went up
together very pleasantly. When we came to the top of the hill, there was a wide plain,and in the
middle thereof the house stood. So we went apace and drew near to it; and there iI saw a very
stately porch at the west end of the house, and at the door stood a strong tall porter, to whom my
guide spake, and said to him on this wise: -- "This young man hath long had a desire to be
entertained in the house of God; thereupon I have conducted him hither. The porter asked him
which way I came thither; he said, through the river: and I do not remember he asked me any
more questions, but bid me welcome, and led me into the house, my guide going in with me,
through many turnings and windings into a great hall. Mine eyes went to and fro as I went about
the house; and in the great hall, there I saw many people, who bade me welcome, but none knew
the anguish of my soul; for I began to question whether I was not again beguiled: for I found the
house foul and dirty, in almost every part, and so belined with spiders and cobwebs, that I thought
in myself it had never been swept clean since it was built. And some things I met withal that
displeased me yet worse, as ye shall hear; howbeit, a good bed was provided for me to rest upon
if I could; and having little stomach, after I saw how it was made ready, went to bed, and
disposed myself to sleep as I could. But, alas! sleep departed from me, and my spirits were
grievously vexed, and my cogitations were many and grievous. Sometimes I thought of the
paintings without, and how that suited not with the dirtiness that was within, and, if I was
deceived, what course I should take.
After long and tedious thinking, I pleased myself with this: it may be better tomorrow. So I fell
into a slumber a pretty while but in the morning before I arose, I heard two or three contending
about some accounts, in which one laid fraud to the other's charge; the other instead of
vindicating himself, fell to twitting him in the teeth, with something of the like kind: they grew so
hot in words, that one threatened to turn the other out of doors, and drive him back through the
river, and never suffer him to come into the house any more.
My heart was ready to burst with sorrow; and in the anguish of my spirit I arose and went to
them, and told them, I little thought to have found such doings, or heard such language, in the
house of God. I fear, said I, I am deceived; and brought in amongst you by a fair show, but see
not the glory, peace, and tranquillity I expected. So I walked away to another part of the house
where I heard a great noise and hard words; as I drew near, I understood it was about choosing
an officer; and two were striving for it, and each of them had got a party, and each party grew hot
against the other. As soon as I could be heard, I spake to them, and told them, such kind of
doings as this, did more resemble a place in the world called Billingsgate, than the house of God. I
went on a little farther; and there I heard some women scolding about taking the upper hand, and
about fashions in their clothes and others about getting their children's playthings from each other.
All this, and much more than I shall mention, increased my sorrow.
I now began to long to speak with my guide that brought me thither; and with diligent search at
last I found him, and began with him in this manner: whither hast thou brought me? And where
are the rules and orders thou toldest me were in the house of God? I have often read of the
beauty, order, peace, and purity of the house of God, but here I find nothing but the contrary. I
fear thou hast brought me to a wrong house, and hast beguiled me. So I rehearsed to him what I
had met withal; to which he replied; I must expect men to have their human frailties, and that men
were but men: and he would have persuaded me to be satisfied, and make further trial. And as for
the orders he spake of, they were mostly about meats and drinks, and about rules for electing of
officers to rule the house of God; as as I would see in time, if I stayed; and as to the dirtiness of
the house, he confessed, that those to whom the care was committed to keep the house clean,
had not been so diligent as they ought to have been; but he hoped, upon admonition, they would
be more careful. To which I returned this answer: What! dost thou talk of human frailties in the
house of God? That complaint is at large in the world, but doth not become the house of God into
which I have heard none can come, but such as are redeemed from the earth, and are washed from
their pollutions; for God saith, all the vessels in my house shall be holy; and they that dwell in the
house of God must have pure hearts and clean hands. And much more I told him of what I had
heard and read concerning the house of God. I also told him plainly, I had let in such a belief of
the peace, purity, glory, and comeliness of the house of God, that I was persuaded that this was
none of it; and where to find it, I knew not; but if I never found it whilst I lived, I would never
give over seeking, for my desires were ever after it, and I thought nothing would satisfy me short
of the enjoyment of it. But as for you house here, said I, I have no satisfaction it it; it is not the
place I seek for, so I must leave you. His answer to me was, he was sorry I could not be satisfied
there was well as he; but if I could not, he would lay no restraint upon me: for his part, he had
directed me as far as he knew, and could do no more for me.
After our discourse was ended, I got up, and went out, but knew not where to go. Several in the
house threw things after me, in a spiteful manner, but none hurt me. So I wandered sometimes
north and sometimes south; and every way that came in my mind. But whithersoever I went, the
anguish of my soul went along with me; which was more than any tongue can utter, or pen can
declare, or any one can believe, except this relation should meet with some one that hath
experienced the same travail; which, if it doth they will understand. But so it was, I had no
comfort night nor day, but still kept going on, whether right or wrong knew not, nor durst I ask
anybody, for fear of being beguiled as before.
Thus I got into a vast howling wilderness, where there seemed to be no way, only now and then I
found some men and women's footsteps, which was some comfort to me in my sorrow; but
whether they got out without being devoured by wild beasts, or whither I should go, I knew not.
But in this woeful state I travelled from day to day, casting within myself what I had best to
do;--whether utterly to despair in that condition, or whether I had best to seek some other town
or city, to see if I could get some other guide. The first I saw to be desperate; I also despaired of
the last, having been so deceived from time to time; so that all these consultations did but increase
the bitterness of my soul.
One day, as I was travelling in the afternoon, a terrible storm arose, with hail and thunder, and
great wind, which lasted till night, and in the night also. And being weary, both of body and mind,
I laid me down under a great tree, and after some time fell asleep. When I awaked and came to
myself, it was still very dark; and, looking about, I saw a small light near me; and it came into my
mind to go to it, and see what it was; and as I went, the light went before me.
Then it came into my mind, that I had heard of false lights, as "ignis fatuus," and such like, that
would lead people out of their way. Then thought I again, how shall I be led out of my way, that
know no way of safety? And whilst I sat down to let these striving thoughts have their course, I
took notice, and beheld the light as near me as at the first, as if it had waited for me. At which I
was strongly affected, and thought within myself, maybe some good spirit has come to take pity
on me, and to lead me out of this miserable condition. And so a resolution arose in my mind that I
would get up and follow it, concluding in myself, that I could not be brought into a much worse
condition, than I was now in. So I arose and followed it; and it went a gentle, easy pace at first,
and I kept my eye straight to it. But afterwards, I found a great part of the luggage and provision
I had got together, did but burden me in my journey; so I threw away one thing, and then another,
that I thought I could best spare but kept a great bundle of clothes still by me, not knowing
whether I should need them.
As I thus went on, and the light before me, it led me out of the wilderness, along a plain country,
without trees or inhabitants; only it appeared as if some few had gone that way;--and the light
kept in that strait path, without any winding or turning, till I came to the foot of a great mountain;
and, going up that mountain, I found it very hard getting up, and began to consider my large
bundle of clothes and garments, and that several of them were of no use for a traveller as I was,
that did not know how far I should go, nor whether I should want them, if every I was so happy
as to attain what I aimed at; nor whether the fashions would suit the place I was going to. So I
threw away some, and anon other some, till none was left but what I wore.
Thus, following my guide, I at last got up to the top of this mountain, where I saw another yet
higher; I also saw a man that asked me whither I was going? I told him I could not well tell, but
would tell whither I desired to go. He asked, whither? I said, to the house of God. He told me it
was the way; but he thought I should never get there. I asked him, why? "Why," quoth he, "there
are in yonder mountain so many vipers, adders, and serpents, and such venomous beasts, that they
devour many people that are going that way. For my part," he said, "I also was going, but was so
affrighted with those venomous serpents, that I was forced to turn back, and so would have you."
I answered him, friend, I have for a pretty while taken yonder light to be my guide, and it hath
directed me along this way, and I see it doth not leave me; look, dost thou see it there before
me?" He answered, "Yes, I see it." Well, said I, I have heard by travellers, that if a man have fire
or light, the venomous beasts cannot hurt him; and I intend to quicken my pace a little, and deep
as close to the light as I can. Come, go along with me and venture it. He said it was true, he had
heard that fire would preserve from them; but he thought the light would not; however, for his
part he would not venture his sweet life amongst them; if I would I might; he wished me well, and
so we parted.
I then made hast, and got pretty near the light, and up I went the second mountain; and when I
cam almost to the top of it, I saw many serpent's dens and vipers' holes, both on the right hand
and on the left; and the venomous drew near me, and hissed at me, and I began to be in great fear,
and trembled exceedingly. But many times, when they were ready to sting me, the light would
step in, or appear betwixt be and them, and they were affrighted, and ran away into their holes
and dens.
Oh! when I perceive this, how did my heart leap for joy within me! My joy abounded,--my fear of
the serpents abated,--my live to my kind and tender guide increased,--and my courage and
confidence were renewed,--and I began to believe I was in the right way to attain my desire. So
on I went, keeping my eye to the light through them all, without harm, till I came to the top of the
mountain; and then I saw an exceeding large valley, so that I could not see the farther side of it: it
seemed to be all moors, or places of water, and bogs and mire all over the valley, which began
again to dishearten me; but, though I, what shall I do? All is well hitherto. I was strangely
delivered from the serpents; and whatever comes of it, if this light leave me not, I will follow it, if
it be through fire and water.
So I kept on, and went down the mountain, a gentle easy pace, and saw many of those cruel
creatures by the way, who put out their stings at me, but none hurt me. And I took notice the
nearer I kept to the light, the more they kept from me. So I got down to the bottom of the
mountain, into the large valley, which was very green and pleasant for a little way; but buy and by,
the light went toward a great moorish ground full of water, and that I thought was very
dangerous; but coming just to the side of the place, I saw a small narrow path through the middle
of it, just broad enough for a man to go upon it; and into that narrow way the light led me, and
went before me. Whilst I kept my eye steady to it, I went on safely: but if at any time I began to
gaze about, my feet slipt into the mire and puddles; and then I had much ado to get into my way
again. Had not the light kindly and tenderly waited for me, I had lost sight of it, and had perished
in the way; for sometimes it was so far before me, that I could hardly discern it; and then I would
quicken my diligence, and be more careful of my goings, and keep as close to it as I could; so that
sometimes the line shined round about me, and I walk in the shinings of it with great fulness of
spirit.
After a long time walking in this narrow way, I lifted up my eyes to the farther side of the moorish
valley, and saw beyond, that there was a very high mountain, and on the top of it there was a
great house: at the sight of which I was greatly comforted, supposing that might be the house I
had for a long time sought.
But after this I met with another sore exercise: for there were many who I perceived had been
travelling in that narrow way, and had fallen into the mire; some on the right hand and some on
the left, and they lay wallowing full of envy; some plucking at me, to pull me in; others throwing
mire and dirt upon me to discourage me: others would speak very fair, on purpose to draw me
into discourse with them, that whilst thus spending my precious time, I might be cast so far
behind, as to lose the sight of my good guide. But I saw their evil designs, and was aware of
them. So, keeping in my narrow way till I came to the end of the boggy valley, I then found firm
ground under me feet, to my great comfort. I had gone but a little way, when my guide, the light,
went into a narrow lane, well hedged on both sides; at which I was glad, thinking I could not go
wrong, and need not now take so much care. But alas! I quickly found so many by-lanes, and
ways, which lay almost as straight forward as that I went in, that if it had not been for the light,
which went a little before me, I might certainly many times have gone wrong; but by carefully
keeping to my good guide, I at last got up the mountain, and saw the house again. I then
discerned a man of that country, a pretty way off, and called to him, friend, ho! friend,what is the
name of yonder great house? He told me the name of it was BETHEL. then I presently
remembered that that was the name by which the house of God was called in my father's country,
where I had heard the reports of it, and so earnestly set out to find it.
Oh! the joy and consolation that I felt in my soul, no tongue can express,--to think that now after
all my travels, perils, and disappointments, I had found what I sought for. So on I went,
journeying with joy unspeakable; and as I went, I viewed the outside of the house: it was very
large, and had but one tower; there was no carved work about it, no painting, nor any kind of
device that could be discerned; but all the stones were curiously joined together from the top to
the bottom. I also took notice, that all the stones of the building were transparent, some more and
some less; and I saw no windows; and, drawing nearer to it, I saw it had a large outward court,
and a pretty large gate to o into it, so that a man might go in with a large burden on his back. So,
coming to it, in I went; and there I saw many people that were very cheerful, and appeared to live
very pleasant lives, some of them told me, they had lived there many years, were well contented,
and wanted for nothing; for there was a mighty tree grew in the midst of the court, and the fruit
thereof was good, and the leaves also, and it bore fruit all the year long. And many were so kind
as to invite me to sit down and eat with them; but that I refused; and they showed me a great
cistern which they had hewn out to themselves, to catch water from the elements; and they had
made themselves convenient lodgings in the sides of the court, to lodge in.
But this did not satisfy me; for I saw my beloved guide pass through them all, and enter in at a
narrow door at the farther side of it. Whereupon I left them, and made haste to the door, where I
saw my gide had entered; and I attempted to enter in thereat, but could not, it was so straight;
which put me in great sorrow of mind, and what to do I knew not; my thoughts troubled me on
every side, and al ways I tried, but in vain. Oh! thought I, are all my troubles and labours come to
this? Must I be shut out at the last? What shall I do? As I was thus perplexing myself, I thought I
heard a voice, but knew not from whence it came, which said, "Young man, strip thee of thy old
garments, and so thou mayest enter." This occasioned yet more trouble of mind; for I was loth to
go naked: but at least thought it is better to go in naked, than not at all. So I at last fell to
stripping, thinking that a few pitiful rags should not hinder me of so great an enjoyment. --And
when I was stripped stark naked as ever I was born, I tried to enter, and found no great difficulty;
and so soon as I was entered, one met me, and cast a garment of pure white linen over me, which
reached to my feet; and he brought me into a narrow room and said, "Rest here awhile." Then I
lay me down in so much joy and comfort as is impossible to be expressed; all things were so
pleasant about me, and my resting place was so delightful, and my heart so fully satisfied, that it
overcame me with songs of joy. But I found it my business to be still and quiet in my happy
condition, that I was come to enjoy.
I had not been long in this room, before I called out to see the beauty of comeliness of the house.
As I walked through it, I found every thing so clean and bright, that I was ravished in an
admirable manner. I also met with some people that welcomed me to the house of God with such
kindness as refreshed my heart: and as I came to be acquainted with them, I marked their
conversation, and their discourses were exceedingly comfortable to me; no quarrelling, no
contention, no high nor hot words, but all passed with meekness and reverence, and due respect
one for another. The young men waited for the words of the ancients, and the virgins carried a
reverent respect to the matrons; and there was an universal concern and unity, so that I wondered
greatly. One day as I was opening my mind to an ancient, I told him I admired much, and
wondered greatly at the universal concord that I had taken notice of, beyond all I had ever met
with in my life. He told me it must needs be so, and could not be otherwise, for that was the guide
to lead me hither, which had been the guide of them all. And further told me, there could be no
contention, but where two spirits strove for mastery; but it was not so in this house. His answer
was so full and satisfactory to me, that I said no more to him at that time, but went on viewing,
and beholding the order of every thing I saw, till my soul was filled, and I might say my cup did
overflow. So that my former labours and disappointments, sorrows and perils, did signify nothing
to me,having now a full reward, an hundred fold.
So, I returned to my rest again, in a larger room than before, singing praises to my God, and
setting forth the praises of the house, and of them that dwelt therein. And awhile after, I was
called forth from the room where I was,and told I was not brought to that place only to take
pleasure and delight therein; but there was work to be done, and I must take my part of it, and be
faithful and diligent in my employment. To which I answered, it was enough that I had attained
my desires in being admitted into this heavenly place; but if there was any business that I could
do, I was willing to do it, be it what it would; for it would be my greatest joy to do anything to
the advancement of the honour of the house of God, and them that dwelt therein. Then he that
talked with me, told me it was my work to teach the children so far as I knew, and had learned,
and as far as I knew, and as far as I should from time to time be further instructed. I was a little
amazed thereat, knowing my inabilities: but having a little pondered that part of the sentence, that
I should be from time to time further instructed, I took courage in my work, and made some
progress in it, with great fear and reverence; waiting daily for those instructions I was to receive,
and which I did receive in an abundant manner; and the work did prosper in my hand, and the
children loved me, and I loved them entirely, as though they had been my own children: and many
of them grew up to a good understanding, and observed their places and orders to my great
delight.
After I had thus continued a while, he that talked with me came and told me I must take the
charge of that part of the household, and give them their meat in due season; and suit every one's
meat, in dividing to every one's state and condition, and not feed strong men with milk, and babes
with strong meat; for which purpose he gave me a key that lead into the treasury or store-house;
which, when I came to see and behold, as abundantly filled with all sorts of nourishments, that
never could be exhausted, or spent, while the world endured. And I observed that whatever I and
others took out to distribute daily among the household of God, the store-house was still full as at
the beginning, and so continues to this day, and forever.
And now, having continued a long time in this heavenly habitation, it comes into my mind to let
my countrymen, and the children of my old father, whom I left in Babylon, hear of me; for I
suppose they judge me lost or devoured; but I could be glad if any, yea, all of them, were here to
behold, and taste and feel what I do. And let none of them say, it happened better with me than
with many; for I have understood, since coming into this house, that the same Light that appeared
to me, doth appear to any poor distressed soul in the whole world; but the reason that so few
come here is, because they fear the perils and dangers that are in the way, more than they love the
Light that would lead them through them; and so turn aside, and shelter themselves in an old
rotten building, that at one time or other, will fall on their heads, and they perish in the ruins.
Now if any have a mind to know my name, let them know that I had a name in my father's
country, but in this long and tedious journey I have lost it. But since I came hither I have a "new
name," but have no characters to signify it by, that I can write, or they can read. Yet if any will
come where I am, they shall know my name. But for further satisfaction, I was born in Egypt,
spiritually called; and my father went and lived in Babylon, about the time the true children of
Israel were in captivity; there I became acquainted with some of the stock of the Jews, about the
time they were returning to their own land; and they told me wonderful things of the glory of the
house they had at Jerusalem, and would have had me go with them. And I understood that
Solomon, with many thousands of carpenters and masons had build it; upon which I considered
within myself, that if solomon and the carpenters and masons had built it, carpenters and masons
might at one time or another pull it down again. So I went not, but sought a city whose builder is
God; and now I have found it; Hallelujah in the Highest; glory, honour, and renown to his worthy
Name and power, throughout all ages and generations.
Amen.